Look, I always thought “family” meant people bonded by love and trust (and maybe an occasional awkward holiday dinner). But apparently, Spotify thinks it means “everyone crammed under one roof.” Sorry, grandma down the road or college kid across the state – you’re out of the club.It’s like they’re running a stealth campaign against actual families. “Oh, you love your cousin who lives five minutes away? Not family enough!” Spotify wants your ‘family’ to come with GPS coordinates, which kinda feels like a reality show gone wrong: “Who Survives The Address Check?”Between cracking playlists and cracking the meaning of family, Spotify might just need to rename its plan the “Cohabitant Plan” and own it. Because hey, as soon as you step outside the front door, you’re basically disowned from that sweet, sweet ‘family’ discount.In short: If you enjoy living at a different address than your folks – or, you know, real life – Spotify’s got a brand-new definition of “family values” for you. Good luck.
